Forty Summat

I might have mentioned in the past that I knit. I probably mentioned it in passing. Possibly out of shyness. Probably out of embarrassment. Anyway. The truth? At the moment I very rarely do anything other than knit. My hours at work were cut (partly due to the economic climate, partly due to being in a tricky trade) and I suddenly have time to use, usefully.

I have become consumed by thread, stitches and pattern. I do eat of course, and the dog still gets a walk, although he spends time watching me with yarn and sticks with an accusatory look on his face, "you know, we could like, walk and shit".

Once upon a time knitting was what every girl was taught to do by her granny, some boys got taught too. Then feminism happened and we got far too busy being 'men' to do anything as pointless as knit. It kinda died out. I must've thrown out a whole bunch of needles and patterns in my thirties assuming that I wouldn't need them anymore, cos like, I'd have a career and be far too busy.

Well, I was wrong about the career (I have a job. Sort of.) and i was wrong about the knitting too. As I'm now time rich and cash poor my plan is to knit for christmas, the logic being that if family members get a handknitted item, they will be able to overlook the cheap bit of the present because they'll be in awe of the labour involved. So, two scarfs, one everlasting shopping bag and socks later you'd think I would be getting bored. But maybe the click of needles gives me an endorphin rush, as I seem to be addicted and looking for my next pattern as I cast off the last stitch.

I think it might be the rhythm and the repetition - its sort of like a three dimensional mantra, knit purl knit purl, yarn over, knit two together, repeat until calm. If you're stressed, pick up some needles, yarn and a granny (you'll need to learn the basics) and knit your way to Zen.

Cam the sham is apparently parading his serious side today and calling for honesty about cuts. Hmm, well that would be nice I suppose. Shame there's no chance of it actually happening.

In some ways I kind of feel sorry for him - he might well be a caring sharing chap, but unfortunately he's the head of party that doesn't really do nice, or society, or fairness. Let me drag you back to the last time the Tories were in power? Did you get the impression that they were concerned for your welfare? Or did you feel that they might have been power crazed, selfish, money mad monsters? Even 'that nice' John Major was the one responsible for delivering our current unworkable privatised railway system.

What's the alternative I hear you say? Labour have hardly been a shining example of socialism and Gordon Brown kinda took his eye off the ball while chancellor - letting laissez faire economics run riot and clearly giving the bankers the impression that they could do what they liked (and what they liked was to screw you). The rest of the Labour team are so on message all the time that they give the impression that they are totally toothless. The Compass group don't seem set fair to rescue the programme either, bless them.

But here's the thing - when we finally get to the next general election there are only three real choices. Vote Labour again and hope that they clean up their mess and discover their balls. Vote Liberal Democrat and waste your time. Vote Tory and hope against hope that 'that nice' Mr.Cameron isn't the lying, posturing, old Etonian, died in the wool Tory that I suspect he might be.

Are you going to be a turkey voting for Christmas? If you don't have a higher than average income, a tiny mortgage, a great education set up for your kids and a private healthcare plan you shouldn't vote for David Cameron and his Conservative party.

Gobble gobble.

I walked the dog through drifts of crunchy leaves, as conkers thudded to the ground around me and I thought, blimey, it's autumn. Already. I mean we've not really had a summer up here in the north and suddenly its 'fall', already. The supermarkets have piles of Christmas sweeties on offer and it can't be long until all the other Christmas stuff starts appearing, I noticed that Boots had some gift sets in last week.

Do you ever feel that modern life, or possibly grown-up life is lived on fast forward? I'm 47 now and 48 in a few weeks time - 50 in a couple of years. God, how did that happen. I don't care if 50 is the 'new' 40, it all seems bloody old to me. I haven't even managed to put together a proper career yet and I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm running out of time. Senior jobs seem to be occupied by kids (in reality twenty-somethings) and I find myself wondering when policemen got so young.

I started a Masters degree with OU in 1997 and what with one thing and another, failed to complete it. I thought I might have another bite at the cherry and sent off for confirmation of my partial qualification, it arrived today and this is probably why I feel a bit melancholy. 1997 doesn't seem so long ago when you say it does it, but written down on a piece of paper with my name on it, I realised that 1997 was 12 years ago. More than a decade in fact. Where does the time go when its not around here?

My little lad went off to university last week, the week before I had my hours at work almost halved, this means that after paying the mortgage, the bills, food shopping and beer money for the son (after all what is uni without beer) we have nowt left. Y'know for fun and shit.

Now, we have a large mortgage and a moderate income, and we're convinced that it's right for our children to have a great education, but the next decade is still going to be tough for us financially. So what I wonder is, if you are from a lower income family without a history of further education and a justified fear of debt, are you going to consider university at all? And let's just say, for the sake of argument, that the university fees go through the roof because they need the money and it won't come from anywhere other than the students - you end up looking at the prospect of nearly 30 grands worth of debt with a decreased prospect of a job at the end. What would you do then?

The CBI (it stands for the confederation of British Industries apparently - but it seems to me that 'C' could equally well stand for 'c*nts") has proposed that the money needed to prop up the universities should all come from students by hiking the fees to astronomic heights. They're not too keen on the student loan system either.

I have an alternative plan. It goes like this. Proper progressive taxation - more revenue for the government, who then spend it on universities, just like public money gets spent on schools and colleges through (local) taxation. This way the rich folk who use further education more get to pay a fair whack and those who don't use as much (i.e the poor) don't have to pile up the personal debt.

You could also introduce a graduate tax - earn more pay more. But why fiddle with these taxation bits and bobs when thoroughgoing progressive taxation would hit the target without complications?(And there's the added bonus of losing more idiots like Phil Collins who object to paying out any of their hard-earned to the country that made their success possible)

While the (fucking) CBI are having a whinge about students, tax revenue is being lost to the government by tax benefits for private schools. Charitable status my arse. I notice that the (fucking) CBI didn't complain about that did they? I assume that they don't want their private school fees to go up?

It's about time Labour realised that playing the lame game of out-torying the tories is pointless - they're fucked at the next election anyway. So why not actually push forward some nice radical Labour policies - even if its only for the fun of watching the tories having to dismantle them.

Here's a few:
Get rid of bloody Trident and cut defense spending...
Bring home our troops abroad, cut the armed forces and retrain the soldiers. After all wars are merely groups of working men killing each other over arguments devised by the ruling classes.
Progressive and agressive taxation to promote redistribution of wealth.
Nationalise - transport and utilities obviously - but what about the banks - we kind of own them already?
Ban private schools (or at the very least get rid of their charitable status).

What's that noise? It's the sound of the fridge humming away to itself in the kitchen. There is no music, no crashing guitar chords, the microwave isn't being used and there's no one snoring away the day in the upstairs bedroom.

I won't be asked "what's for lunch" by a grown-up with two of his own hands, two legs and a plethora of qualifications (which indicate he has got a brain..)and if I want to watch TV in the middle of the afternoon, I won't have to ask permission from Mr.Lanky sprawled on the sofa (watching endless re-runs of Torchwood). Yes, I have the house to myself for the first time since May. May. MAY!

It was then that my oldest left school and started 'study leave' - which in his case was more 'thinking about study' leave, then (it seemed like a week but was in fact two) months later his baby brother joined him.

I work from home, and this is not a secret I keep with the dog, it's a household fact. That didn't stop either youth playing discordant guitar or Radiohead (often amounting to the same thing) throughout the day. It didn't mean that I could rely on another soul to walk the dog (and thereby stop said pooch from lying on the bed behind me, with sad and regretful eyes, sighing as each walk-less hour past). Cups of tea were made and welcome, but cups were never washed, washing never unloaded and dried, carpets went unhoovered and the kitchen sink became a sink-hole of unwashed dishes and scraps of food.

I love my teenagers and miss the one that gone off and left me for university (where he washes up, goes to the supermarket and cooks), but I am enjoying the sound of the fridge and the quiet of the house.

It's been a while, but here I am back at the keyboard.

Lots of stuff to be angry about - where to start?

Gordon Brown is still at the helm of an increasingly fed-up looking Labour party while David 'Love me please' Cameron is looking increasingly like our next Prime Minister. Not because he has good policies, sensible proposals or sound knowledge of the politics, economics and history of the country. No it's because he talks the talk...with a nice posh accent. Jee-suz.

The NHS v US Privatised healthcare. The Americans are stupid. We kinda knew that, but did you think that they were THAT stupid. Nope, neither did I.

Fascists in Britain. Worried about the rise of Islam in the UK? No they're not. They hate brown people and they are racists. But the press have now given them the oxygen of publicity they need to feel self-important. Ignore them and eventually they'll slink back to the their cellars.

The summer. Rubbish. Only one more barbeque than last year. Something should be done.

As I seem to have been consistently fuckingmiserable recently I thought something vaguely cheery would be 'nice'.

So here are some random good things that make bad feelings recede into the middle distance.

1. Having a full tank of petrol and the feeling that if you wanted, you could just drive off where ever the hell you liked.....

2.Finding a tiny baby green tomato on your precious tomato plants

3.Ditto courgettes.

4.The sun is shining...and the weather forecasters predicted rain.

5. Nick Griffin got pelted with eggs!!!!!!!!

6. Madonna got her baby - I know we're all supposed to hate her guts because she 'swans' in, waves her magic wand and runs off with a baby - but I've watched hundreds of hours of footage of starving babies and always wanted to do exactly the same thing. Great big house, big pile of money, you would wouldn't you - and you know that the baby will be happy and healthy (until obviously it hits its teens and then no doubt it'll go all Hollywood and drug shaped, but till then, yay Madonna, two words that I never thought I'd put together in a sentence).

7. The press have stopped banging on about Gordon Brown etc, expenses, bankers, swine flu - for now. I think they feel a bit guilty about contributing to the whole BNP mess - and they should.

8. It's still sunny!!!!

9. The Guardian had its first headline worrying about inflation - weird reason to be happy I suppose but if you read between the lines its because the economy is reluctantly picking itself up after its bruising encounter with the w/bankers. Naturally the Guardian doesn't want to go all mushy and optimistic so it's whinging about inflation....but still.

10.........not sure there are ten good things to be happy about but hey, having nine good things is good enough for me!

Apparently the BNP's leader Griffin got pelted with eggs yesterday and had to be hustled to cover. Now generally I wouldn't encourage anyone to throw anything at anyone, but you can see how tempting it might be can't you?

The rise of the British National Party is a huge embarrassment for the country; we like to think that we're all rather lovely and tolerant, and the existence of this piece of political excrement and their popularity with voters kinda proves that we're not!

In my own family I have occasionally come across casual racism in the past - and I've been quick to condemn it. But my in-laws are frequently guilty of the same stuff, and for family peace I'm obliged to tolerate it. But it makes me sick.

One of the things that makes me equally sick and shamed of racism etc is that, working class people - ie my class, are the most frequent perpetrators. But then perhaps it's the folk down at the bottom of the pile who like to have someone to kick?

There's no excuses for it though, and no excuses for the BNP either - we are no more overwhelmed in this country than any other in the EU and many parts of the UK rarely see black or brown faces even now: go to the working class areas of Scotland or the prosperous villages of England and try and spot anyone African or Asian. You'll struggle.

Freedom of movement around the globe is one of the marks of a civilised nation and a modern world, you can't start erecting walls the way the Israeli's have or like the one in Berlin without causing untold oppression and pain. No-one in the UK can insist that we close our doors to people who want to improve their lives - especially if the country they come from is in a mess primarily because of our historic interventions (would Pakistan be the country it is without Partition? Would India have the pockets of poverty it endures if we hadn't colonised it? And what about our role in Africa? If you want to sleep nights it's best not to consider British history abroad).

The BNP insist they are vilified and maligned - they are not, we all know that they are racists and the people who voted for them probably chose them on that basis.

At the next election, no matter how bitter you feel about the Labour government, don't decide to stay home, because your good sensible vote for the Tories, Liberals or even Labour keeps the BNP where it should be - in the trash can of history.

If Gordon Brown has any sense he will ignore the nay sayers and stay on until he's obliged to go. First of all he's managed to engineer what could be the end of the recession and he should be in charge until the outcome of his polices are realised.
Second of all, you cannot change the countries leadership without a general election...again.
Thirdly the backstabbers and quitters (Blears etc) don't impress anyone, and no one should listen to their words of advice, hopefully their disloyalty has condemned them to years in the wilderness.
The local elections look bad - but these were the shires for the most part - the Middle England, Daily Mail/Express/Telegraph reading heartland.
The alternative to sticking around is letting the Tories in.... and that can't be countenanced...

Yesterday's local council election and the European vote are going pretty much as I had feared - sheep-like voters are giving Labour a good old walloping as per instructions from the mainly Tory press. It's a lot like turkey's voting for Christmas of course but, heck let's not let political history and outcomes stand in the way of a good heckle shall we?

I was talking to a chum recently about politics - she reads the Mail and can't name a single member of the cabinet, when pressed she can't come up with any Tory policies either (there's a good reason for this though - they're aren't any) but she likes David Cameron. She says things like 'don't get me started on benefit scroungers' in total seriousness and thinks that the country has never been in a worse state than it is now. She genuinely believes that we need a change of government to sort it all out. Fine, but people much stupider than her get to vote; she has degree and a good job, she actually reads a paper that sometimes reports on politics, not just on Big Brother and big tits, she is caring and when you argue your point she listens. People who are deciding the fate of your mortgage and your livelihood are not necessarily as smart, or indeed nowhere near as smart. Be afraid, be very afraid.

We were out of the country for several years: one of the reasons we left was because we had a mortgage we could barely afford - largely because of the interest rates. The last Tory government were responsible for interest rates climbing into double figures, and if you have a mortgage that is three times your income that is hard. So we voted in the 1997 election and buggered off, relieved that we no longer had to worry about all that.

The Labour party meanwhile set about fixing the country - they increased public spending, made the country prosperous, got us talking to the rest of Europe and tried to fix crime and poverty. They haven't succeeded of course because Rome wasn't built in a day and neither of these issues has any easy or voter friendly solutions: crime is probably the product of inequality, poverty is the product of capitalism. But we came home to a country that seemed a lot happier with itself - although the press seemed to be getting restless...

And then the banking system fell apart: Brown stepped up, and to more or less world-wide acclaim starting coming up with solutions - you can see the results of this fix already with a few tiny green shoots. Then came the expenses row - orchestrated by tax evaders (Telegraph owners,the Barclay brothers don't bother with tax, they live in the Channel islands and give their address as Monaco) and happily seized upon by the Tories as somehow a problem with the Labour party (although their MP's happily fleeced the country too).

The result is this - you and I are now looking at rule by a party led by an old Etonian and designed to promote the values of capitalism - welfare issues are much less of an issue than getting and spending. Well don't say I didn't warn you.